You are saved by the will of Christ. You didn’t choose, he chose you.
Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, Ephesians 1:5
We evangelize because we don’t know who was chosen, and God may use us as the catalyst for them to come into that knowledge. We are part of the gathering of the saints into the sheepfold. When the time is right, Jesus will separate the wheat from the tares; we are only responsible for spreading the gospel so that the chosen come to the saving knowledge of Christ. I’ve done a light study on free will, and I’m not finding much, but I will dig deeper because I’m in no way very knowledgeable on the subject, but from what I’ve noticed, our entry into the kingdom as adoptees is not by our choice. I don’t know any children who chose their parents; their adoptive parents chose them; it’s the same way in the kingdom of God. You can go willingly or fight it, but if He picks you, you’re going whether you like it or not. My suggestion would be for you to embrace your calling and learn as much as you can about your adoptive family and the One who chose you.
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